My thoughts on "Crying It Out"

I have been contemplating for a long time what to do with Addelynn waking up during the night. When she was first born she would wake up a few times a night to feed, but by several months (once she doubled her body weight) she no longer woke up because of hunger.

For the past several months Josh and I get up anywhere from 1-5 times a night to put Addelynn's pacifier back in her mouth or pat her back to soothe her back to sleep. This at times has made us both tired and grumpy. As I think about it it's kind of selfish to say that as some parents are still waking up for long periods of time with their infants. We don't have to take her out of her crib and two seconds after we pat her or give her her pacey she is fast asleep again. I have had several friends try and have success with cry it out method and to be completely honest I have never felt comfortable with the concept. Addelynn does not get calmer or more tired, but more agitated and harder to get to sleep when she is left to cry.

Anyways, so as a new parent I have been easily swayed to try this "sleep solver" method. I have a friend who is a psychologist who told me there have been proven studies that this method can cause adverse affects to the child and I listened to her for months because I have been trying to find a solution for months. Well, a few days ago I tried this method (still not feeling good about it)Addelynn woke up about an hour into her sleep cycle (which after much research over the past several days I have learned that infants transition into their wakeful sleep about every hour during the night, so this makes complete sense). I waited in agony the recommended 5 minutes, which seemed like an hour as my sweet little girl just got more upset in her crib. I went in tried to soothe her as she lay in her crib and when that didn't work, picked her up, patted her, kissed her forehead, put her back down and patted her back some more. She woke up again about 20 minutes later and this time I waited the recommended 10 minutes, same process occured. She finally stopped crying, only to start back up again 5 minutes later. This time I was supposed to wait 15 minutes and 7 minutes into this excruciating process, there was silence. It wasn't comforting silence though, it was very eery and disheartening. I went up to check on her as I was scripting the events to a friend from church on facebook (who agreed I should go check on her :) ). I went in and she had cried (well screamed) herself to sleep.

I haven't felt right about his method and as I type Addelynn is waking up :). I decided to do some research which really helped to reaffirm my feelings. Now, don't get me wrong everyone has their own ways that work for their kids and that they feel is right. I don't feel like the CIO method works for Addelynn and it makes me feel absolutely horrible to do it.

Some researchers likened the method to an adult who is in pain or is having a hard time and their spouse closing the door and ignoring them, others said that the baby does not eventually just soothe themself but more "give up" because they've cried so long and no one has come to comfort them, and finally out of exhaustion fall asleep. While more people have questioned this method, more research has been done about it. After doing my research, I am reverting back to my intuition and doing what I feel is right for my baby. If I have to get up a few times a night for just a few seconds to ensure my baby feels comforted and forms the attachments she should, I really don't mind. Afterall, that's what I signed up for right? I was reading from Dr. Sears (a family of pediatricians with over 30 years experience) that most parents have this preconceived notion that their child has to sleep through the night by a certain age and if they're not then something wrong, when in fact babies cry when they are in need of something. You can't over spoil them. They don't know whether you are in the next room or halfway down the block, all they know is that they're in a jail-like crib, situated in a mostly dark room, all by themselves, and they're scared. They have no notion of where we are. That made me feel so much better for going in there and reassuring her.

Anyways, I am going to post some of the research below that I got from Dr. Sears page. If you know me I research until the point my husband prys me off the computer with frusteration, lol. I hope I don't offend anyone in any way who might read this late night post. I always love when people show me different options or info to back up how I was feeling. To be completely honest most of my friends that have tried the CIO approach say they absolutely hate it, but felt like it was their only option. Anyways, if you are feeling like I did about this whole sleeping mess and are unsure of what to do you can start by googling "is the cry it out method harmful to babies" Here is the research link:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

As, wierd as it sounds I enjoy rocking my baby to sleep because I have waited all my life to do that. Addelynn will only be little for a short while and I want to savor it, for surely I won't be rocking my ten year old to sleep! Sure, I am grumpy because I don't get alot of sleep sometimes, but the second my baby smiles my heart melts and I forgot any worry that was on my mind.
I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything...and I have decided that even includes the sleepless nights!