9 Months!

It's hard to believe that a year ago I was feeling my sweet little girl kick and play in my belly and enjoying the amazing feelings and experiences that pregnancy brings. Now, my little girl is here and playing and climbing on EVERYTHING. She has grown so much from that little pea in my belly to my chunky monkey little princess. Addelynn turned 9 months on Monday and I just can't grasp the idea that in a few short months she will be a year old!

She is such an amazing little girl. I love walking into her room each morning to see her either playing sweetly in her crib or standing with outstreched arms waiting for me to scoop her up and start the day.

She is still a sensitive girl, always wanting to be by "ma ma" and be held. She doesn't like to feel for one second that she is alone (like if we walk into the kitchen to grab something and are out of her sight for just a split second) and absolutely loves to sit on your lap and play, play, play. I still rock her to sleep at night because she doesn't like being left alone to fall asleep on her own. I don't mind too much because she will sleep 12-13 hours once she's in her crib.

Motherhood is definately the most challenging, but also incredibly rewarding thing that I have ever done in my life. I love that I am able to stay home with her and watch her learn and grow every day. Yes, there are times I am completely stir crazy and yes I do miss having money in my checking account, but at the end of the day when I am kissing my sweet baby goodnight I am so thankful that I chose this path. I am also thankful for a husband that does everything he can to make sure that he's providing for our family.

I guess I have come to realize that you don't need material things or the persona that you have a lot of material things to be truly happy. Josh and I used to eat our atleast 2 to 3 times a week when we were both working and could go out and splurge on big and nice things, but it's funny how having children brought us back down to reality. I don't have the luxury of going out and spending money just to spend it, but I do have the luxury of seeing that Addelynn is happy, healthy, and loved. I have the reassurance that she is safe and being taught and exposed to the things that I would want for her and not a daycare facility. Kind of got off on a tangent, I guess my point is that so many of us are going through really hard times financially, but it is so reassuring to look at our sweet babies and know we are doing the right things for our families.

Addelynn's stats at her checkup on Monday were:
Weight- 19lbs 13oz (70th percentile)
Height- 28.5 inches (5oth percentile)
Head- 18 inches (90th percentile)

Addelynn at 9 months:
- crawling and climbing on anything and everything
- scaling walls, couches, cabinets, and anything else that helps her walk the room
- says "da da", "ma ma", "ne ne", "na na", and lots of random phonemes
- loves music and will wiggle her legs and arms when she hears it
- has 2 teeth still but we think she is going to get the top pretty soon...teething alot lately
- loves to play peek a boo
- squirmy, wormy when we try to change her = not fun, lol
-has just mastered her "pincher" fingers and can now feed herself food
- still very needy and loves to be held, loved, and played with
- still LOVES food and will eat pretty much anything and everything that we feed her
-happy and healthy :)

Josh and I really are so grateful that Heavenly Father send us such a wonderful little girl to our family. I have to admit now that she is getting bigger and so mobile, I am getting baby hungry again! I sure do miss being pregnant and then having the little, tiny baby to hug and cuddle. We shall see what this next year brings us :)

What the two months!

I can't believe I haven't posted in over 2 months! That is a little pathetic on my part. I mostly am too lazy to get my camera out and upload all the pics...and what's a post without pics?!? Anyhow, I need to try to be better for my own sake.

Addelynn will be nine months old in just a few weeks. I can't believe how quickly time is flying by. I look at old pictures of her and sometimes it's hard for me to remember her being that small! I hope this is normal and not a sign of early alzheimers.

Addelynn is very mobile. I will have to post pics of her owies (sp?) a little later that chronicles her crawling and climbing on EVERYTHING! She is also saying a few words...for some reason she calls me "ne ne" or at least that's what she says when she wants me. She does say "da da" and that seems to be her favorite word. It's adorable to hear her sweet little voice. She used to say "mmmm" all the time so I was sure she would say "ma ma" soon, but nada yet.

Addelynn has been sleeping through the night for a few months now....and all without crying it out. I am a huge fan of the no cry method and it has worked well for us. We just now started cutting out her 3rd nap, which allows her to go to bed a bit earlier each night, which is nice for Josh and I. She does anywhere from 11-13 hours a night, most of the time 12 hours is a typical night.

She still loves food and will crawl over to Josh and I whenever we are eating. She actually gets mad and throws a fit if we don't let her try what we are eating. This gets tricky as most 8 month olds can't eat even a portion of what we eat, so needless to say I have learned to eat really fast and be super sly about it. She will crawl over to me if she even sees me chewing, no food even present! It's pretty funny. I think she just REALLY loves food!

I am venturing out and doing my own in home preschool. The licensing through the state is pretty tedious. I now realize why most people don't even bother. They make it so complicated, no joke like 12 forms to fill out, a huge list of requirements for the home inspection, etc. I also have to go to an orientation in West Phoenix. It will be great in the long run, but geesh is it a pain right now! Kind of stressing me out for those of you that know me, lol.

Josh will continue to be on swings for this next year. Shift change starts next month. This works perfect for the preschool because he can watch Addey for the two and a half hours I am teaching. I just really miss having him home for dinner and bedtimes, but what can you do? Hopefully when Addelynn is a little older, Josh will have enough seniority to move to days. Although, days are dreadfully boring from what I hear, so I don't know if I could put him through that torture. He does get 3 days off a week and our lunches are kind of our dinners, so it sort of evens out.

Fathers Day is coming up. Any cute ideas from my crafty and thrifty friends out there? This is Josh's first official Father's Day so I want to make it special, but we are on a budget which makes it hard. I am open to ideas :)

Hopefully I will get my classroom up in the next week and then I can post some pictures. Ahhh, what was I thinking trying to open a preschool with a 8 month old! I barely have time to keep up with dishes and laundry let alone get my house ready for an inspection and set up a whole classroom!


Addelynn is such a happy baby. I don't think I could ever get tired of seeing her beautiful smiles!

She ADORES her Daddy! I have caught some pretty precious moments between the two of them. I sure do hope these tender moments continue throughout her life :)

She loves to sit and play, although her most favorite thing right now is climbing....climbing on the couch, up on our entertainment center, on plain old walls, and even up on us when we are standing! She is everywhere and on anything that is the slightest bit taller than her.

We took a trip up to our good friends' cabin a few weeks ago and I had to make sure my most precious cargo was packed!

My thoughts on "Crying It Out"

I have been contemplating for a long time what to do with Addelynn waking up during the night. When she was first born she would wake up a few times a night to feed, but by several months (once she doubled her body weight) she no longer woke up because of hunger.

For the past several months Josh and I get up anywhere from 1-5 times a night to put Addelynn's pacifier back in her mouth or pat her back to soothe her back to sleep. This at times has made us both tired and grumpy. As I think about it it's kind of selfish to say that as some parents are still waking up for long periods of time with their infants. We don't have to take her out of her crib and two seconds after we pat her or give her her pacey she is fast asleep again. I have had several friends try and have success with cry it out method and to be completely honest I have never felt comfortable with the concept. Addelynn does not get calmer or more tired, but more agitated and harder to get to sleep when she is left to cry.

Anyways, so as a new parent I have been easily swayed to try this "sleep solver" method. I have a friend who is a psychologist who told me there have been proven studies that this method can cause adverse affects to the child and I listened to her for months because I have been trying to find a solution for months. Well, a few days ago I tried this method (still not feeling good about it)Addelynn woke up about an hour into her sleep cycle (which after much research over the past several days I have learned that infants transition into their wakeful sleep about every hour during the night, so this makes complete sense). I waited in agony the recommended 5 minutes, which seemed like an hour as my sweet little girl just got more upset in her crib. I went in tried to soothe her as she lay in her crib and when that didn't work, picked her up, patted her, kissed her forehead, put her back down and patted her back some more. She woke up again about 20 minutes later and this time I waited the recommended 10 minutes, same process occured. She finally stopped crying, only to start back up again 5 minutes later. This time I was supposed to wait 15 minutes and 7 minutes into this excruciating process, there was silence. It wasn't comforting silence though, it was very eery and disheartening. I went up to check on her as I was scripting the events to a friend from church on facebook (who agreed I should go check on her :) ). I went in and she had cried (well screamed) herself to sleep.

I haven't felt right about his method and as I type Addelynn is waking up :). I decided to do some research which really helped to reaffirm my feelings. Now, don't get me wrong everyone has their own ways that work for their kids and that they feel is right. I don't feel like the CIO method works for Addelynn and it makes me feel absolutely horrible to do it.

Some researchers likened the method to an adult who is in pain or is having a hard time and their spouse closing the door and ignoring them, others said that the baby does not eventually just soothe themself but more "give up" because they've cried so long and no one has come to comfort them, and finally out of exhaustion fall asleep. While more people have questioned this method, more research has been done about it. After doing my research, I am reverting back to my intuition and doing what I feel is right for my baby. If I have to get up a few times a night for just a few seconds to ensure my baby feels comforted and forms the attachments she should, I really don't mind. Afterall, that's what I signed up for right? I was reading from Dr. Sears (a family of pediatricians with over 30 years experience) that most parents have this preconceived notion that their child has to sleep through the night by a certain age and if they're not then something wrong, when in fact babies cry when they are in need of something. You can't over spoil them. They don't know whether you are in the next room or halfway down the block, all they know is that they're in a jail-like crib, situated in a mostly dark room, all by themselves, and they're scared. They have no notion of where we are. That made me feel so much better for going in there and reassuring her.

Anyways, I am going to post some of the research below that I got from Dr. Sears page. If you know me I research until the point my husband prys me off the computer with frusteration, lol. I hope I don't offend anyone in any way who might read this late night post. I always love when people show me different options or info to back up how I was feeling. To be completely honest most of my friends that have tried the CIO approach say they absolutely hate it, but felt like it was their only option. Anyways, if you are feeling like I did about this whole sleeping mess and are unsure of what to do you can start by googling "is the cry it out method harmful to babies" Here is the research link:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

As, wierd as it sounds I enjoy rocking my baby to sleep because I have waited all my life to do that. Addelynn will only be little for a short while and I want to savor it, for surely I won't be rocking my ten year old to sleep! Sure, I am grumpy because I don't get alot of sleep sometimes, but the second my baby smiles my heart melts and I forgot any worry that was on my mind.
I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything...and I have decided that even includes the sleepless nights!

Look Who's Sitting!!!!

Daddy has been working with Addelynn on sitting while Mommy was recovering...and she's doing amazing! She will sit for a minute or two and then topple over, but it's oh so cute! She will be six months on the 22nd of this month and I have no idea where the time went. She is growing up way to fast for me.



She rolled over at 3 and a half months and now is sitting at 5 months! Two huge milestones already!



What's next...crawling! I might pass out when that happens, lol. I love to watch her grow and learn. She is such a joy in my and Josh's life. We love her to pieces!

I love this picture...she's like stunned that she is actually sitting. The smiles came out after the initial shock, lol.

Updates

Wow it seems like forever since I've posted last. A lot has happened in the past month, mainly my itty bitty baby growing like a weed and another surgery. Yes...ANOTHER surgery. I developed another abscess and had to have it removed a few weeks ago. This meant another surgery and the end to my breastfeeding. This has been really hard on me because after all of my miscarriages the one thing I wanted to do was be able to give my baby a year of breastfeeding. I am still learning that sometimes we don't have control over things and I have to let be what has happened and move on.

TMI warning****-for those of you wondering why I had to stop breastfeeding...my incision cut into my milk ducts and I was pouring milk constantly from my wound. It was not fun. My surgeon actually wanted me to stop breastfeeding at two months but I carried on and was able to make it to five months. No, continuing to breastfeed had no effect on my last surgery. The MRSA had apparently not completely gone away and decided to rear its ugly head again. My surgeon just wanted to me stop because it would be hard to breastfeed, which it was so I pumped for 3 months instead.

That's the scary thing with MRSA-it's drug resistant, very aggressive, and hard to get rid of. The meds that they put you on are awful too...I take 6 pills a day and they make you feel all sorts of gross. On the upside, I heal a little more each day. The engorgement thing is horrible though and my milk still hasn't dried up after a week and a half. I don't wish engorgement on anyone! Cabbage does help though despite my initial doubts about it all.

Addelynn has been amazing. I can't believe I haven't chronicled more of her last 5 months, but with two surgeries in 3 months it has been a little rough. Josh has pretty much exhausted his sick time taking care of me. My first surgery I was in the hospital for 5 days and then out of it for another week afterwards and this time I was able to do outpatient and Josh took a week off to tend to Addelynn. I couldn't even hold my sweet little baby because of the immense pain and pressure it put on my breast. Like I said it's been a little rough...but I am so blessed so still despite these little trials that pop up here and there...I am counting my blessings!

Photo Shoot

My good friend Celeste took Addelynn's pictures today and I wanted to give everyone a sneak peak. Addelynn was such a sport for oh the first 30 minutes and then she would cry or turn her head every time Celeste put the camera by her. Sassy already, lol.

Celeste always amazes me with how she can still capture a great shot despite the fussiness! Josh wanted some pics of Addelynn with no bows, hats, or girly, girly attire, so you will see a few of her just plain Jane and to be honest those are some of my favorite! I can't tell you enough how much these pictures have meant to me. Celeste is able to catch the essence of my beautiful baby girl through my eyes...the way that I see her when I look at her. I can't get over her baby blues and her beautiful smile!

You can take a sneak peak at the pics on Celeste's blog. I won't get my pictures for a few weeks (maybe even a little longer) Celeste is already 4cm dilated and 80% effaced with her own little princess, so she can take her sweet little time. : ) I can't wait to have Celeste take pics of our girls together because I know they're going to be great friends!

Thanks Celeste for giving me a permanent picture of my ever growing 4-month old!

www.celesteruthphotography.blogspot.com

ps. I will do my best to post some of the pics on my camera with stories soon!

2008 Overview

Addelynn was wide-eyed and smiling as we rung in the New Year. It was just too cute!





My Little Claus

Was my baby really this small just 3 months ago?

This past year has definitely been full of blessings for Josh and I. Addelynn was conceived in January and came into this world on September 22nd. It is a bit bittersweet in the sense that I love that she is learning and growing everyday, but am also sad that I can't slow down the hands of time. I was sad to see 2008 end because it was such a momentous time for me and my little family.

Here's what stick in my head this year:

January- Just getting over my 4th miscarriage emotionally and physically. Was going to an acupuncturist to help with the lining of my uterus and getting my hormones back to normal. Had no idea that I had actually gotten pregnant again. Gotta love the late night romance!

February- Found out I was pregnant, went on bedrest the day before Valentine's Day because I was bleeding.

March- Bedrest. Had to have a sub teach my 5th graders. Numerous Dr. appts sometimes twice a week to make sure I was still carrying our baby.

April- After 7 weeks of bedrest I was able to go back to work. At our 12 week appt. ultrasound tech said if she had to say...it was a girl! Threatened incompetent cervix...pregnancy became high risk. Changed to high risk Dr.'s didn't have to get a cerclage and was able to keep teaching. If I had to get a cerclage it would have been bedrest for the rest of my pregnancy.

May- Finished up teaching. Was sad to pack up my classroom, but excited to start motherhood. Found out at 15wks that it was definitely a girl!

June- Enjoyed being pregnant and feeling the baby move. Celebrated Mom's 50th Birthday.

July- Took a trip to Vegas for my cousin's wedding. Loved seeing my belly expand! Was a little sad as the school year started that I wasn't going back to work.

August- Baby Showers, more Dr. appt's, friends giving birth.

September- Celebrated my 25th Birthday, contractions, limited sleep, stredeveloped preeclampsia and gave birth to my darling little girl after 21 hours of labor by c-section. Five day hospital stay.

October- Recovering from emergency c-section, possible mastitis, possible fungal infection, tons of crazy medications, Baby's First Halloween! Possible colic baby.

November- A diagnosis...staph infection! Surgery to remove abscess....another 5 day hospital stay. The beginning of pumping and packing. Being away from my baby for the first long stretch of time and missing her like crazy. Baby's First Thanksgiving! Blessing our princess at church.

December- Baby's first roadtrip and Christmas and New Year's Eve. Finally feeling normal after childbirth. Thankful that I was on no meds and not in any pain.

I still can't believe that Addelynn is here and three months old. I look at my friends' new babies and can hardly believe I had one that small...and just three months ago! She's already 13 pounds and growing and amazing me each day. She smiles and laughs. She has learned to put her pacifier back in her mouth when it falls out. She's in 3-6 month clothing! I just want to hold her and love her and never let go. I am petrified of this world I will someday be unleashing her into. I pray every night that I will teach her right, that I will be a good example to her, and that I will always be worth in Heavenly Father's eyes to be her Mother. He saved such an amazing, tender spirit for Josh and I and I don't want to ever let Him down.

I can't help but think of our Savior as Christmas came and went. I think of what might have been going through Heavenly Father's head as he sent his only Son to come to Earth, to be persecuted by the very people he came to save, and to die, not a peaceful death, but one of agony, pain, and total isolation. I can't even begin to fathom how Heavenly Father felt...He knew. He knew he was sending His Son to go through all these heartaches and He sent Him for me, for us, for our babies and future babies. I don't know if I could be that selfless and sacrifice my little girl. She is my life and my heart and I am so very, very protective of her. I think of my friends who have lost their babies and wonder if it might compare to how Heavenly Father felt? How can we ever be mad at a Father who knows such pain? I think that is one of the main reassurances I had through my four miscarriages...He knows me and my heart, both whole and breaking, and he is forever faithful as long as we believe.

2008 did bring some big trials for me...threatened miscarriage, two surgeries, 2 scars, illnesses, etc, but I will always look back on this year and my heart will sing. I didn't need anything for Christmas because my heart was full enough. Money can't buy family or friendships, or memories, and it definitely can't buy my testimony which has grown even more firm this year.

What sticks out in your head this year? What experiences helped shape 2008 for you? I would love to hear my friends' perspectives.