I was watching Oprah today and they showed a video that really hit home to me. It was about this sweet, angel little boy who had Trisomy 18. The video reminded me of how tender God's mercy truly is and how precious life is. We must live for today because of the uncertainty for tomorrow.
Lately my heart has been pondering the circumstances of life. Heavenly Father gives us more than we could ever repay Him for, yet He takes away as well, sometimes not to our liking or understanding, but with a loving purpose. It is through faith and long suffering that we come to understand this life and the trials that come with it.
Through my four miscarriages and the grieving process that comes with it, I have met dear friends who also carry their own burdens:
My sweet friend who lost her precious little boy to Trisomy 13. He lived for just three days, yet in those three days showed his mommy and daddy more love and determination to live than they could have hoped or wished for. Heavenly Father entrusted her tender spirit to carry this precious boy and lead him back home.
My friend who miscarried three babies and nurtured my spirit through her kindness and sweet rememberances in the months following my miscarriages. She brought flowers, made me a CD, a sweet poem, and just an ear for listening.
My friend who just had her 2nd miscarriage and walks with such strength and pose, who threw me a baby shower through her sorrow and struggling.
My junior high friend who had multiple miscarriages and decided to start her own photography studio that focuses on the beauty of infancy and childhood. She is now pregnant with a little girl and I couldn't be happier for her!
Most recently, my sweet friend who just experienced the stillbirth of her baby boy. We were pregnant at the same time and eagerly anticipating the births of our babies just a few weeks apart. She lost her baby only a few weeks prior to Addey's birth. My heart broke for her and I remember crying myself to sleep some nights over her sorrow. Her sweet baby so active in the womb twisted his cord 18 times, until the last twist cut off all life to his precious little body. Through her sorrow, she has shown me strength and a purer understanding of Heavenly Father's plan. She came to see me and Addelynn the other day, and I know all too much how painful that probably was for her, yet she told me that she knew the road I went through to get my little girl and she wanted to support me and meet her. What an amazing woman with such a tender heart in her suffering!
Sometimes I like to think the Heavenly Father doesn't just decide to take away our sweet, sweet babies, rather he allows incidences in this corrupt world to happen so that we may grow, that we may teach and help others, and that we may ultimately grow closer to him. I don't know what I would have done through my darkest hours if I didn't have a loving Heavenly Father to commune with, to cry to, to know that He was probably the only one in my universe that could possibly know what I was going through...He afterall sent his only Son to die for us...we who are all too many times selfish and undeserving...we who complain that we don't have enough and want more...we who still have so much to learn in this short time on Earth.
I am so thankful for my sweet friends who give me strength and hope...who continually show me the precious love of motherhood. I wish the world for them and I hope they know that.
Please watch the video...It will speak to your soul and hopefully allow us all to reprioritize how we spend our days and how we go about thinking about the tasks we do throughout the day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th6Njr-qkq0
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4 comments:
I just watched the video... and cried. Ryan came in to the office to see what was wrong with me. :0) What a testament and what a sweet message you wrote about all your good friends going through tough times.
Thanks for all the great info! That would be awesome to teach together. I wish I had more young girlfriends to work with. I work mostly with an older crowd... which is fine, just sometimes you miss people your age. I'm trying to save money on gas, but not take too much of a pay cut. It looks like whether I went with Combs School District or QC I would take a pay cut. Maybe it would be worth it though to be so close to home. Plus, with the economy the way it is I think Chandler may be revamping their pay scale. Another thing to consider is that if I teach 5 years at a Title 1 school I get $5,000.00 reimbursement for my student loans. I have already put in 3 of the years... just 2 more to go. So I definitely need to consider that too. Driving an hour to work and an hour home gets old! So you are really thinking about going back next year?? Money is tight with us too! It's depressing. In answer to your question, yes the party is on a Saturday so hopefully you guys can come! Ok, now that I have talked your ear off I'll let you go. :0)
What a nice post. I echo your words and know that Heavenly Father doesn't choose to take away that which is precious to us but rather lets nature take it's course and let's us experience these things for our good. He chooses not to intervene even though He has the power to do so and make everything "better" in our minds. How else can we grow?
Wow, Cortney, I remember thinking what a good writer you were when I checked your other blog months ago. This post really confirms that. So amazing! Thank you for the sweet and generous workds you wrote. I just teared up. Will have to watch the video on a less emotional day! Hope you're doing well with that little one!
BTW - you take a great picture.
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