Life Changing

I was watching Oprah today and they showed a video that really hit home to me. It was about this sweet, angel little boy who had Trisomy 18. The video reminded me of how tender God's mercy truly is and how precious life is. We must live for today because of the uncertainty for tomorrow.

Lately my heart has been pondering the circumstances of life. Heavenly Father gives us more than we could ever repay Him for, yet He takes away as well, sometimes not to our liking or understanding, but with a loving purpose. It is through faith and long suffering that we come to understand this life and the trials that come with it.

Through my four miscarriages and the grieving process that comes with it, I have met dear friends who also carry their own burdens:

My sweet friend who lost her precious little boy to Trisomy 13. He lived for just three days, yet in those three days showed his mommy and daddy more love and determination to live than they could have hoped or wished for. Heavenly Father entrusted her tender spirit to carry this precious boy and lead him back home.

My friend who miscarried three babies and nurtured my spirit through her kindness and sweet rememberances in the months following my miscarriages. She brought flowers, made me a CD, a sweet poem, and just an ear for listening.

My friend who just had her 2nd miscarriage and walks with such strength and pose, who threw me a baby shower through her sorrow and struggling.

My junior high friend who had multiple miscarriages and decided to start her own photography studio that focuses on the beauty of infancy and childhood. She is now pregnant with a little girl and I couldn't be happier for her!

Most recently, my sweet friend who just experienced the stillbirth of her baby boy. We were pregnant at the same time and eagerly anticipating the births of our babies just a few weeks apart. She lost her baby only a few weeks prior to Addey's birth. My heart broke for her and I remember crying myself to sleep some nights over her sorrow. Her sweet baby so active in the womb twisted his cord 18 times, until the last twist cut off all life to his precious little body. Through her sorrow, she has shown me strength and a purer understanding of Heavenly Father's plan. She came to see me and Addelynn the other day, and I know all too much how painful that probably was for her, yet she told me that she knew the road I went through to get my little girl and she wanted to support me and meet her. What an amazing woman with such a tender heart in her suffering!

Sometimes I like to think the Heavenly Father doesn't just decide to take away our sweet, sweet babies, rather he allows incidences in this corrupt world to happen so that we may grow, that we may teach and help others, and that we may ultimately grow closer to him. I don't know what I would have done through my darkest hours if I didn't have a loving Heavenly Father to commune with, to cry to, to know that He was probably the only one in my universe that could possibly know what I was going through...He afterall sent his only Son to die for us...we who are all too many times selfish and undeserving...we who complain that we don't have enough and want more...we who still have so much to learn in this short time on Earth.

I am so thankful for my sweet friends who give me strength and hope...who continually show me the precious love of motherhood. I wish the world for them and I hope they know that.

Please watch the video...It will speak to your soul and hopefully allow us all to reprioritize how we spend our days and how we go about thinking about the tasks we do throughout the day.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th6Njr-qkq0

Newborn Photo Session

My dear friend, Celeste (Bentley) Smith, just finished editing the photos that she took of Addelynn a few weeks ago. We did these photos at two weeks and Addey was such a champ. She stayed asleep through all of the moving and manipulating of her body! She did, however, poo poo on Daddy while he was holding her little nakey body.

I am so thankful to have this sweet little girl in my life. These beautiful pictures will allow me to treasure her infancy which seems to already be going by way too quickly. Pictures allow a person to go back into a time and place where the heart remembers all.

If you would like to see more of Celeste's work you can access her blog at:

http://www.celesteruthphotography.blogspot.com/ and from there you can access her website which is almost in the final stages of being finished.

Thanks again Celeste for doing such an amazing job!

We are Alive

Well, I promise that we are alive...just enjoying parenthood and getting into the swing of routines and such.

Josh and I welcomed our beautiful baby girl Addelynn Reese Shurtz into this world on Monday, September 22nd at 8:17pm. She weighed 7lbs and 2 oz and was a whopping 20 inches long!

Josh completed his two week defensive tactics training on Friday the 19th and then we had the go ahead to be in labor (he told me that I had to get him through this training before Addey came!). We started going on nightly walks and on Sunday night around 11pm I started noticing steady contractions. I didn't start timing them until around 11:30 and realized they were 3-5 minutes apart. I let this go on for an hour like they tell you to and then woke Josh up and told him that I should probably call my doctor and get their opinion on what to do. Josh in a daze from already being asleep for several hours just said "okay, babe let me know what they say," and rolled over and went back to sleep. Love ya babe! The nurse on call said we definitely needed to head in.

I was hesitant because the contractions were just like heavy menstrual cramps and I had a Dr's appt. that afternoon. Well, since my bags were packed we got the dogs situated and then headed out the door. We arrived at Banner Gateway a little after 1am. To my excitement Triage was empty which meant that we would be seen right away. Like always, I had to pee before they checked me so I quickly went to the bathroom (where they told me to go ahead and leave a sample of urine) and then headed back to my room. I was 3cm and 80% effaced and the nurse told me she would talk with the Dr. on call and get back to me as to what would be our plan of action. She came back a few minutes later and told me that they had found some protein in my urine so wanted to do a quick blood draw to make sure everything was looking good.

Fifteen minutes or so passed and she came back and said that she had talked with the Dr. and normally they would have me walk for an hour to see if I progressed and then decide whether to admit me, but my bloodwork showed that I developed preeclampsia (high blood pressure that can cause strokes). She then said that because of the preeclampsia that she would have to admit me and that we would definitely be having a baby that day.

At around 3am they started pitocen to induce labor and it took me until about 8am to reach 4cm. They then pushed me to 5cm to get things rolling. I originally did not want an epidural because I wanted and had in my head all these wonderful thoughts about natural labor, but due to the preeclampsia I was bedridden. There would be no hot showers, labor balls, walking through the pain, or even sitting up and laying back down. About 30 minutes into active labor I was begging for an epidural!

The nurses originally guesstimated that I would deliver around noon. It took me until around 5pm to reach 10cm and become fully effaced. The doctor said I was at a station 3, that they could see Addelynn's head and that it would be about 15 to 20 more minutes. Well, needless to say two and a half hours later I was still pushing, when the doctor finally came back in and evaluated me and informed me that my hips did not separate enough during labor to have a natural birth. So for two and a half hours Addelynn would slide down the birth canal when I pushed and right back up because she was not big enough to pass a certain section of my pelvic region. By this time, I had been in every labor position imaginable, was needing oxygen, hadn't slept in over 36 hours...and was an emotional wreck! A part of me felt like a failure because I am a goal oriented person...the nurse would tell me 15 more minutes and I would persevere...to in the end still end up with a c-section.

Addelynn was born at 8:17pm after a longer than normal c-section because she was so lodged in the birth canal. To top it off an epidural does not completely block out the nerves like a spinal would and since I already had an epidural, a spinal was not an option. I could feel every rip and tear as they took my little angel out of me. I can't really explain the feeling of ripping flesh other than it makes you want to be sick ten times over. I felt like it took hours to get her out and the doctors kept commenting on how lodged in there she was. It was quite the experience...but in the end I was able to hold my beautiful baby girl and exhausted and defeated or not, I was the happiest person in that moment in time.

I had to stay in the hospital for 5 days. Addelynn ended up dropping down to 6lbs and 7oz and developed jaundice that had to be treated under a light for 24 hours. They were also still monitoring my outrageously high blood pressure, which finally decided to go down that Saturday afternoon. As of last Monday Addey weighed 7lbs 10oz and looks wonderful. I can't believe that she will be three weeks old tomorrow. I literally cried when she was 3 days old because I felt like she was growing up too fast already and I needed to savor every moment (I know, post-pardom hormones!). She is such a blessing in our lives and I am continually thankful for both our trials and our miracle because it has made us cherish and appreciate life in a much fuller way. I never thought after four miscarriages that I would have a little one to rock to sleep, to caress her soft face features, and to sing lullaby's too, but Heavenly Father is truly faithful and knows our hearts, and he does answer prayers!

Baby CPR

One thing that I was a little anxious about was being alone with our baby and not knowing what to do if she choked or lost consiousness, so of course one of the things on my list was to learn CPR and choking techniques for babies. I was so thankful that a friend of ours who is a firefighter was able to come and teach us the class in our home. It is so important to be updated on the new information that comes out on life saving techniques, as they change periodically. Compressions and techniques are much different for a baby or infant than for a grown adult, which makes knowing what to do even more important. I know feel a lot more prepared should an emergency ever come up.

Mom and Dad were able to make it out and update their skills a bit. It had been 14 years since the last time they had taken a CPR class and a lot of things had changed!
Josh doing part of the technique for helping an infant who is choking.
Me doing compressions on an unconsious baby. The new routine is 30 to 2...thirty compressions to every two breaths.
Such a serious Daddy! I think this is the only serious face Josh had during the whole experience!

Our Little Pumpkin is Ripe

Since Addey is due in early October, Josh had the cute idea of painting my belly like a pumpkin. On Friday we got all the supplies for the event and had ourself a belly carving (painting) party. Here are a few pictures of the final product. I don't know about anyone else, but I think we picked the cutest pumkin in the pumpkin patch!

Young Women's Surprise Baby Shower

Young Women's Surprise Baby Shower!!!!!

Normally on Wednesdays you can find me at mutual with the YW leaders and girls. Last Wednesday mutual was cancelled (or so I was told) and this Wednesday it wasn't at the normal Stake Building, Sis. Robinson decided to have it at her house. I asked what we were doing and Sis. Robinson said something about rotating the girls through different stations. That was good enough for me. Well, Wednesday rolled around and I had been kind of grumpy all day because I haven't been able to sleep lately, I'm as big as a full size semi-truck and Josh has been working days all week, so I have barely been able to see him. I was half tempted to go to YW's in basketball shorts and a comfy shirt, but decided I had to look at least halfway presentable. I get in my car, make the short drive to Brenda's house, ring the doorbell and to my astonishment see all of the leaders and my girls sitting in a huge circle and yelling "SURPRISE!" I then immediately felt like the worst person in the world for having a miserable day when they all put so much time and effort into making this night special for me.




Come to find out that they did have mutual last week where they were busy planning my shower and making my homemade quilt which you will see a picture of below. They were also busy writing words of advice on cards for me to scrapbook. The shower was absolutely beautiful. I keep telling Brenda that she needs to go into party planning because she does everything to a "T". She had so many fun games like having the girls guess how many poopies (tootsie rolls were in a diaper), name that flavor of baby food (we had 10 taste trials on a plate), draw Cortney's baby with your eyes closed, "How well do you know Cortney?" with 15 questions about me, Baby Bingo, and we even did the string game to see how enormously large my belly has gotten! The girls won prizes for the games and we all had a fantastic time.



Brenda made the cutest little favors like Baby Ruth's swaddled in blankets and yummy chocolates wrapped up in diapers. She also made cupcakes that looked like baby faces, an amazing Pamper's baby cake, delicious punch, and more yummy food! I don't think I could have wished for a better surprise. I was completely caught off guard and had such a wonderful time! The girls also all worked together to make Addelynn a homemade quilt which I know she will adore throughout her life. I love our Young Women's Family!


Tootsie Roll Poopies! Name that Baby Food Chocolates in Diapers


The awesome table full of yummy food for my belly!









Left Picture: My amazing Quilt the girls made


Right Picture: Brenda measuring my enormous baby bump! Holy cow have I gained some weight!

My Amazing Diaper Cake

.

Ward Baby Shower

Raina and Reann...Thank you so much for throwing an amazing shower!

Who ate the cupcake?!? We had yummy, yummy food to eat...which is always a plus when you're pregnant!
Raina made adorable little favors out of York Peppermint Patties for all of the guests!
Some of the Girls: Traci, Kayci, me, Naomi, and Amber. I sure hope I spelled everyone's name right!
Homemade blankies are the best!
The Young Women's President gave me the most amazing basket with all of her "favorites". I am sure they will soon be my favorites too!

My ward threw me a wondeful baby shower last Saturday; thank you Raina and Reann! Since most of my close friends and family aren't LDS they offered to throw me a separate shower. :) It was a come and go and we all had a wonderful time enjoying one another's company and catching up. I loved all the wonderful gifts...people in my ward are so talented and creative!