9 Months!

It's hard to believe that a year ago I was feeling my sweet little girl kick and play in my belly and enjoying the amazing feelings and experiences that pregnancy brings. Now, my little girl is here and playing and climbing on EVERYTHING. She has grown so much from that little pea in my belly to my chunky monkey little princess. Addelynn turned 9 months on Monday and I just can't grasp the idea that in a few short months she will be a year old!

She is such an amazing little girl. I love walking into her room each morning to see her either playing sweetly in her crib or standing with outstreched arms waiting for me to scoop her up and start the day.

She is still a sensitive girl, always wanting to be by "ma ma" and be held. She doesn't like to feel for one second that she is alone (like if we walk into the kitchen to grab something and are out of her sight for just a split second) and absolutely loves to sit on your lap and play, play, play. I still rock her to sleep at night because she doesn't like being left alone to fall asleep on her own. I don't mind too much because she will sleep 12-13 hours once she's in her crib.

Motherhood is definately the most challenging, but also incredibly rewarding thing that I have ever done in my life. I love that I am able to stay home with her and watch her learn and grow every day. Yes, there are times I am completely stir crazy and yes I do miss having money in my checking account, but at the end of the day when I am kissing my sweet baby goodnight I am so thankful that I chose this path. I am also thankful for a husband that does everything he can to make sure that he's providing for our family.

I guess I have come to realize that you don't need material things or the persona that you have a lot of material things to be truly happy. Josh and I used to eat our atleast 2 to 3 times a week when we were both working and could go out and splurge on big and nice things, but it's funny how having children brought us back down to reality. I don't have the luxury of going out and spending money just to spend it, but I do have the luxury of seeing that Addelynn is happy, healthy, and loved. I have the reassurance that she is safe and being taught and exposed to the things that I would want for her and not a daycare facility. Kind of got off on a tangent, I guess my point is that so many of us are going through really hard times financially, but it is so reassuring to look at our sweet babies and know we are doing the right things for our families.

Addelynn's stats at her checkup on Monday were:
Weight- 19lbs 13oz (70th percentile)
Height- 28.5 inches (5oth percentile)
Head- 18 inches (90th percentile)

Addelynn at 9 months:
- crawling and climbing on anything and everything
- scaling walls, couches, cabinets, and anything else that helps her walk the room
- says "da da", "ma ma", "ne ne", "na na", and lots of random phonemes
- loves music and will wiggle her legs and arms when she hears it
- has 2 teeth still but we think she is going to get the top pretty soon...teething alot lately
- loves to play peek a boo
- squirmy, wormy when we try to change her = not fun, lol
-has just mastered her "pincher" fingers and can now feed herself food
- still very needy and loves to be held, loved, and played with
- still LOVES food and will eat pretty much anything and everything that we feed her
-happy and healthy :)

Josh and I really are so grateful that Heavenly Father send us such a wonderful little girl to our family. I have to admit now that she is getting bigger and so mobile, I am getting baby hungry again! I sure do miss being pregnant and then having the little, tiny baby to hug and cuddle. We shall see what this next year brings us :)

What the two months!

I can't believe I haven't posted in over 2 months! That is a little pathetic on my part. I mostly am too lazy to get my camera out and upload all the pics...and what's a post without pics?!? Anyhow, I need to try to be better for my own sake.

Addelynn will be nine months old in just a few weeks. I can't believe how quickly time is flying by. I look at old pictures of her and sometimes it's hard for me to remember her being that small! I hope this is normal and not a sign of early alzheimers.

Addelynn is very mobile. I will have to post pics of her owies (sp?) a little later that chronicles her crawling and climbing on EVERYTHING! She is also saying a few words...for some reason she calls me "ne ne" or at least that's what she says when she wants me. She does say "da da" and that seems to be her favorite word. It's adorable to hear her sweet little voice. She used to say "mmmm" all the time so I was sure she would say "ma ma" soon, but nada yet.

Addelynn has been sleeping through the night for a few months now....and all without crying it out. I am a huge fan of the no cry method and it has worked well for us. We just now started cutting out her 3rd nap, which allows her to go to bed a bit earlier each night, which is nice for Josh and I. She does anywhere from 11-13 hours a night, most of the time 12 hours is a typical night.

She still loves food and will crawl over to Josh and I whenever we are eating. She actually gets mad and throws a fit if we don't let her try what we are eating. This gets tricky as most 8 month olds can't eat even a portion of what we eat, so needless to say I have learned to eat really fast and be super sly about it. She will crawl over to me if she even sees me chewing, no food even present! It's pretty funny. I think she just REALLY loves food!

I am venturing out and doing my own in home preschool. The licensing through the state is pretty tedious. I now realize why most people don't even bother. They make it so complicated, no joke like 12 forms to fill out, a huge list of requirements for the home inspection, etc. I also have to go to an orientation in West Phoenix. It will be great in the long run, but geesh is it a pain right now! Kind of stressing me out for those of you that know me, lol.

Josh will continue to be on swings for this next year. Shift change starts next month. This works perfect for the preschool because he can watch Addey for the two and a half hours I am teaching. I just really miss having him home for dinner and bedtimes, but what can you do? Hopefully when Addelynn is a little older, Josh will have enough seniority to move to days. Although, days are dreadfully boring from what I hear, so I don't know if I could put him through that torture. He does get 3 days off a week and our lunches are kind of our dinners, so it sort of evens out.

Fathers Day is coming up. Any cute ideas from my crafty and thrifty friends out there? This is Josh's first official Father's Day so I want to make it special, but we are on a budget which makes it hard. I am open to ideas :)

Hopefully I will get my classroom up in the next week and then I can post some pictures. Ahhh, what was I thinking trying to open a preschool with a 8 month old! I barely have time to keep up with dishes and laundry let alone get my house ready for an inspection and set up a whole classroom!


Addelynn is such a happy baby. I don't think I could ever get tired of seeing her beautiful smiles!

She ADORES her Daddy! I have caught some pretty precious moments between the two of them. I sure do hope these tender moments continue throughout her life :)

She loves to sit and play, although her most favorite thing right now is climbing....climbing on the couch, up on our entertainment center, on plain old walls, and even up on us when we are standing! She is everywhere and on anything that is the slightest bit taller than her.

We took a trip up to our good friends' cabin a few weeks ago and I had to make sure my most precious cargo was packed!

My thoughts on "Crying It Out"

I have been contemplating for a long time what to do with Addelynn waking up during the night. When she was first born she would wake up a few times a night to feed, but by several months (once she doubled her body weight) she no longer woke up because of hunger.

For the past several months Josh and I get up anywhere from 1-5 times a night to put Addelynn's pacifier back in her mouth or pat her back to soothe her back to sleep. This at times has made us both tired and grumpy. As I think about it it's kind of selfish to say that as some parents are still waking up for long periods of time with their infants. We don't have to take her out of her crib and two seconds after we pat her or give her her pacey she is fast asleep again. I have had several friends try and have success with cry it out method and to be completely honest I have never felt comfortable with the concept. Addelynn does not get calmer or more tired, but more agitated and harder to get to sleep when she is left to cry.

Anyways, so as a new parent I have been easily swayed to try this "sleep solver" method. I have a friend who is a psychologist who told me there have been proven studies that this method can cause adverse affects to the child and I listened to her for months because I have been trying to find a solution for months. Well, a few days ago I tried this method (still not feeling good about it)Addelynn woke up about an hour into her sleep cycle (which after much research over the past several days I have learned that infants transition into their wakeful sleep about every hour during the night, so this makes complete sense). I waited in agony the recommended 5 minutes, which seemed like an hour as my sweet little girl just got more upset in her crib. I went in tried to soothe her as she lay in her crib and when that didn't work, picked her up, patted her, kissed her forehead, put her back down and patted her back some more. She woke up again about 20 minutes later and this time I waited the recommended 10 minutes, same process occured. She finally stopped crying, only to start back up again 5 minutes later. This time I was supposed to wait 15 minutes and 7 minutes into this excruciating process, there was silence. It wasn't comforting silence though, it was very eery and disheartening. I went up to check on her as I was scripting the events to a friend from church on facebook (who agreed I should go check on her :) ). I went in and she had cried (well screamed) herself to sleep.

I haven't felt right about his method and as I type Addelynn is waking up :). I decided to do some research which really helped to reaffirm my feelings. Now, don't get me wrong everyone has their own ways that work for their kids and that they feel is right. I don't feel like the CIO method works for Addelynn and it makes me feel absolutely horrible to do it.

Some researchers likened the method to an adult who is in pain or is having a hard time and their spouse closing the door and ignoring them, others said that the baby does not eventually just soothe themself but more "give up" because they've cried so long and no one has come to comfort them, and finally out of exhaustion fall asleep. While more people have questioned this method, more research has been done about it. After doing my research, I am reverting back to my intuition and doing what I feel is right for my baby. If I have to get up a few times a night for just a few seconds to ensure my baby feels comforted and forms the attachments she should, I really don't mind. Afterall, that's what I signed up for right? I was reading from Dr. Sears (a family of pediatricians with over 30 years experience) that most parents have this preconceived notion that their child has to sleep through the night by a certain age and if they're not then something wrong, when in fact babies cry when they are in need of something. You can't over spoil them. They don't know whether you are in the next room or halfway down the block, all they know is that they're in a jail-like crib, situated in a mostly dark room, all by themselves, and they're scared. They have no notion of where we are. That made me feel so much better for going in there and reassuring her.

Anyways, I am going to post some of the research below that I got from Dr. Sears page. If you know me I research until the point my husband prys me off the computer with frusteration, lol. I hope I don't offend anyone in any way who might read this late night post. I always love when people show me different options or info to back up how I was feeling. To be completely honest most of my friends that have tried the CIO approach say they absolutely hate it, but felt like it was their only option. Anyways, if you are feeling like I did about this whole sleeping mess and are unsure of what to do you can start by googling "is the cry it out method harmful to babies" Here is the research link:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

As, wierd as it sounds I enjoy rocking my baby to sleep because I have waited all my life to do that. Addelynn will only be little for a short while and I want to savor it, for surely I won't be rocking my ten year old to sleep! Sure, I am grumpy because I don't get alot of sleep sometimes, but the second my baby smiles my heart melts and I forgot any worry that was on my mind.
I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything...and I have decided that even includes the sleepless nights!

Look Who's Sitting!!!!

Daddy has been working with Addelynn on sitting while Mommy was recovering...and she's doing amazing! She will sit for a minute or two and then topple over, but it's oh so cute! She will be six months on the 22nd of this month and I have no idea where the time went. She is growing up way to fast for me.



She rolled over at 3 and a half months and now is sitting at 5 months! Two huge milestones already!



What's next...crawling! I might pass out when that happens, lol. I love to watch her grow and learn. She is such a joy in my and Josh's life. We love her to pieces!

I love this picture...she's like stunned that she is actually sitting. The smiles came out after the initial shock, lol.

Updates

Wow it seems like forever since I've posted last. A lot has happened in the past month, mainly my itty bitty baby growing like a weed and another surgery. Yes...ANOTHER surgery. I developed another abscess and had to have it removed a few weeks ago. This meant another surgery and the end to my breastfeeding. This has been really hard on me because after all of my miscarriages the one thing I wanted to do was be able to give my baby a year of breastfeeding. I am still learning that sometimes we don't have control over things and I have to let be what has happened and move on.

TMI warning****-for those of you wondering why I had to stop breastfeeding...my incision cut into my milk ducts and I was pouring milk constantly from my wound. It was not fun. My surgeon actually wanted me to stop breastfeeding at two months but I carried on and was able to make it to five months. No, continuing to breastfeed had no effect on my last surgery. The MRSA had apparently not completely gone away and decided to rear its ugly head again. My surgeon just wanted to me stop because it would be hard to breastfeed, which it was so I pumped for 3 months instead.

That's the scary thing with MRSA-it's drug resistant, very aggressive, and hard to get rid of. The meds that they put you on are awful too...I take 6 pills a day and they make you feel all sorts of gross. On the upside, I heal a little more each day. The engorgement thing is horrible though and my milk still hasn't dried up after a week and a half. I don't wish engorgement on anyone! Cabbage does help though despite my initial doubts about it all.

Addelynn has been amazing. I can't believe I haven't chronicled more of her last 5 months, but with two surgeries in 3 months it has been a little rough. Josh has pretty much exhausted his sick time taking care of me. My first surgery I was in the hospital for 5 days and then out of it for another week afterwards and this time I was able to do outpatient and Josh took a week off to tend to Addelynn. I couldn't even hold my sweet little baby because of the immense pain and pressure it put on my breast. Like I said it's been a little rough...but I am so blessed so still despite these little trials that pop up here and there...I am counting my blessings!

Photo Shoot

My good friend Celeste took Addelynn's pictures today and I wanted to give everyone a sneak peak. Addelynn was such a sport for oh the first 30 minutes and then she would cry or turn her head every time Celeste put the camera by her. Sassy already, lol.

Celeste always amazes me with how she can still capture a great shot despite the fussiness! Josh wanted some pics of Addelynn with no bows, hats, or girly, girly attire, so you will see a few of her just plain Jane and to be honest those are some of my favorite! I can't tell you enough how much these pictures have meant to me. Celeste is able to catch the essence of my beautiful baby girl through my eyes...the way that I see her when I look at her. I can't get over her baby blues and her beautiful smile!

You can take a sneak peak at the pics on Celeste's blog. I won't get my pictures for a few weeks (maybe even a little longer) Celeste is already 4cm dilated and 80% effaced with her own little princess, so she can take her sweet little time. : ) I can't wait to have Celeste take pics of our girls together because I know they're going to be great friends!

Thanks Celeste for giving me a permanent picture of my ever growing 4-month old!

www.celesteruthphotography.blogspot.com

ps. I will do my best to post some of the pics on my camera with stories soon!

2008 Overview

Addelynn was wide-eyed and smiling as we rung in the New Year. It was just too cute!





My Little Claus

Was my baby really this small just 3 months ago?

This past year has definitely been full of blessings for Josh and I. Addelynn was conceived in January and came into this world on September 22nd. It is a bit bittersweet in the sense that I love that she is learning and growing everyday, but am also sad that I can't slow down the hands of time. I was sad to see 2008 end because it was such a momentous time for me and my little family.

Here's what stick in my head this year:

January- Just getting over my 4th miscarriage emotionally and physically. Was going to an acupuncturist to help with the lining of my uterus and getting my hormones back to normal. Had no idea that I had actually gotten pregnant again. Gotta love the late night romance!

February- Found out I was pregnant, went on bedrest the day before Valentine's Day because I was bleeding.

March- Bedrest. Had to have a sub teach my 5th graders. Numerous Dr. appts sometimes twice a week to make sure I was still carrying our baby.

April- After 7 weeks of bedrest I was able to go back to work. At our 12 week appt. ultrasound tech said if she had to say...it was a girl! Threatened incompetent cervix...pregnancy became high risk. Changed to high risk Dr.'s didn't have to get a cerclage and was able to keep teaching. If I had to get a cerclage it would have been bedrest for the rest of my pregnancy.

May- Finished up teaching. Was sad to pack up my classroom, but excited to start motherhood. Found out at 15wks that it was definitely a girl!

June- Enjoyed being pregnant and feeling the baby move. Celebrated Mom's 50th Birthday.

July- Took a trip to Vegas for my cousin's wedding. Loved seeing my belly expand! Was a little sad as the school year started that I wasn't going back to work.

August- Baby Showers, more Dr. appt's, friends giving birth.

September- Celebrated my 25th Birthday, contractions, limited sleep, stredeveloped preeclampsia and gave birth to my darling little girl after 21 hours of labor by c-section. Five day hospital stay.

October- Recovering from emergency c-section, possible mastitis, possible fungal infection, tons of crazy medications, Baby's First Halloween! Possible colic baby.

November- A diagnosis...staph infection! Surgery to remove abscess....another 5 day hospital stay. The beginning of pumping and packing. Being away from my baby for the first long stretch of time and missing her like crazy. Baby's First Thanksgiving! Blessing our princess at church.

December- Baby's first roadtrip and Christmas and New Year's Eve. Finally feeling normal after childbirth. Thankful that I was on no meds and not in any pain.

I still can't believe that Addelynn is here and three months old. I look at my friends' new babies and can hardly believe I had one that small...and just three months ago! She's already 13 pounds and growing and amazing me each day. She smiles and laughs. She has learned to put her pacifier back in her mouth when it falls out. She's in 3-6 month clothing! I just want to hold her and love her and never let go. I am petrified of this world I will someday be unleashing her into. I pray every night that I will teach her right, that I will be a good example to her, and that I will always be worth in Heavenly Father's eyes to be her Mother. He saved such an amazing, tender spirit for Josh and I and I don't want to ever let Him down.

I can't help but think of our Savior as Christmas came and went. I think of what might have been going through Heavenly Father's head as he sent his only Son to come to Earth, to be persecuted by the very people he came to save, and to die, not a peaceful death, but one of agony, pain, and total isolation. I can't even begin to fathom how Heavenly Father felt...He knew. He knew he was sending His Son to go through all these heartaches and He sent Him for me, for us, for our babies and future babies. I don't know if I could be that selfless and sacrifice my little girl. She is my life and my heart and I am so very, very protective of her. I think of my friends who have lost their babies and wonder if it might compare to how Heavenly Father felt? How can we ever be mad at a Father who knows such pain? I think that is one of the main reassurances I had through my four miscarriages...He knows me and my heart, both whole and breaking, and he is forever faithful as long as we believe.

2008 did bring some big trials for me...threatened miscarriage, two surgeries, 2 scars, illnesses, etc, but I will always look back on this year and my heart will sing. I didn't need anything for Christmas because my heart was full enough. Money can't buy family or friendships, or memories, and it definitely can't buy my testimony which has grown even more firm this year.

What sticks out in your head this year? What experiences helped shape 2008 for you? I would love to hear my friends' perspectives.

We just had our Annual Girls Christmas party. It's always a wonderful experience to share a night with some of your most favorite people. We do a gift exchange and this year we did it white elephant style, but with nice gifts, and it was oh so much fun! We also did a yummy dinner and just shared memories and stories from the past. Life is crazy sometimes, but your friends keep you sane and grounded. Love you girls!

New Do

I took the plunge and cut off 9 inches today! I know, my friend pointed out that I should have done 10 inches and donated it, but hey 9 was drastic enough! I'm still getting used to it. I have had long hair for the majority of my life, so this is very strange. Hopefully I can style it cute. Thanks Kristi for the fun new do! How do you guys like it...be honest. Do you like me with short or long hair? Different huh, for those of you who've only known me with long hair?

Healing

It's been a little over a month since my surgery and I am healing pretty well. I went for another post op appointment with my surgeon today and she said we will probably only have to pack (shoving gauze and silvasorb into a bottomless wound, then covering with more gauze, and taping up to cover completely) for another two weeks. Josh and I don't consider it "packing" anymore because the inside of my wound is pretty much healed, it's just the top that needs to close. If you saw it a month or even a few weeks ago it would be "packing". Maybe "patting" with gauze would be a better term for the job.

My surgeon said that I have to wait until my wound is completely healed before I can breastfed off that side again. This could possible be another month because just because we're not "patting" and covering with gauze after two weeks, doesn't necessarily mean that it is completely healed. This is kind of a bummer because pumping is getting really old. I feel like I'm doing double duty. I was also told by Mrs. Doc that after I'm done breastfeeding that we will need to do a mammogram because abscess' can lead to breast cancer. I guess because an abscess is a puss pocket and once it's removed it leaves a space kind of?!? Who knows! She said I was healthy and young though, so the odds are very, very low. Whew!

On a lighter note, we took Addelynn to get pictures with Santa today. The old school I taught at does pictures(the district custodian dresses up and looks like Santa to a "T" ; it's really cute!). She did so well, didn't smile, but looked adorable all the same. Considering the 3 year old before her was crying, I was happy that she just sat content as can be on his lap! We bought her a little Claus dress with a fun little hat and put cute white tights on her. Stay tuned for pictures once they're developed!

Oh, and I am also getting my hair chopped tomorrow. I am SO nervous! I seriously haven't had short or even shoulder length hair in probably 13 some odd years! It's so scary for me....I know I'm a huge baby, but my hair grows so slow. Anything is better than me throwing it up in a bun all the time, so says the hub. I have to agree that it is up 99% of the time because it gets in the way, so to have it shorter and more easily cute ponytail and not long and annoying ponytail material, will be nice! Stay tuned for those pics, as well!

Okay, so I need a change. I am going to get my hair done on Tues or Wed next week and I need your guys' help to see what I should do. If you look at my last post with Josh and I holding Addey on her blessing day, you can see that my hair is dull and lifeless. I am thinking I will cut it shoulder length (so I can still throw it up in a ponytail if needed) but I don't know if I want layers, bob, or an a-line. I am holding a vote. Please let me know which hairstyle you think would look best on me because let's face it...if I don't like it, it will take ten years for my hair to grow out again...so it's gotta be good! Thanks for your help!

Hairstyle #1

Hairstyle #2

Hairstyle #3

Hairstyle #4

Hairstyle #5

Cast your vote or if you have a style you like, send me a pic!

Addelynn's Blessing

Addelynn was blessed at church on Thanksgiving weekend. It was such a wonderful experience having my family attend church and get to see our sweet little girl get blessed. We had a luncheon at our house afterwards with friend and family which was a ton of fun. Addelynn looked so darling in her pretty dress that her Great Aunt Florene made. The blessing itself was beautiful. I had Josh use his voice recorder from work, so I could type it up and put it in her baby book. I think it will be neat for her to look back on it as she grows.

Speaking of growing, my little pumpkin will be 12 weeks tomorrow! Seriously, where does the time go? Josh says to me the other night "wouldn't it be cute if she stayed this small forever?" Yes, yes, it would, but then again I guess she wouldn't be progessing as she should in this life.

We are going to family Christmas in California next weekend and I'm so excited for both her first roadtrip and the opportunity for my extended family to meet Addey. I know they will love her and I'm sure she'll be spoiled while she's up there since she's the newest baby. The youngest cousin besides her is five, I think. It should be a lot of fun.

I hope everyone is doing well and getting ready for Christmas. I still have so much to do and need to get my bum in gear!

Sometimes Life Keeps Throwing Curve Balls

I would like to say that I haven't posted in a while because I have been so amazingly busy with my beautiful little girl and loving every second of motherhood. Although, I am busy 99% of the time, my life as a Mother has thrown a few more curve balls. I am just warning that this is long but you have to know the background to understand the story.

It all started a few weeks after Addelynn was born and I noticed breastfeeding wasn't going as great as I had hoped. I was constantly in pain and when my milk came in it literally felt like it was boiling underneath my skin. After I would feed, I would be in pain for up to an hour afterwards and sometimes it would even keep me up at night. I kept asking my friends who had breastfed if this is normal and some were baffled and others said I must just have a powerful letdown. I let it go another week and then my aunt came down from California to visit. She breastfed both of her daughters (my mom didn't breastfeed for long) and I asked her the same questions and she said that definitely didn't sound right. Then, one morning I went to take a shower and my boobs looked like they had been burned, with bright red, hot to the touch splotches all over. I showed my mom and aunt who immediately agreed something wasn't right. We all figured mastitis and since it was a Saturday I called my Doc in hopes that they would just write me a prescription. Yeah, right...so I had to go to urgent care (who the doctor btw was someone from my old ward, yay...awkward!) and he diagnosed me with mastitis in both breasts and gave me a prescription. He said that I should feel relief in a few days but keep on the meds and follow up with my doctor in a week.

Lo and behold three days go by and I'm still in pain, so I call my doctors and end up going in to see them. At PPA (phoenix Perinatal Associates) you see random high risk doctors, well so he doesn't even check my boobs and tells me its either the start or end of mastitis. What!?! Well, which one is it? I've now been on meds for days and so he writes me another med that will definitely kill off the bacteria if this one doesn't work, but he's sure the meds I'm on will do the trick. So I finish up the ten day prescription and start the new one because of course I'm still in pain. I take the new miracle meds for another week and end up calling the doctors again because gosh darnit I'm still in freaking pain. I go back to the same doctor who is completely baffled that his miracle cure for bacteria infections didn't work and figures that it must be a fungal infection. This is now the third medication I am on.

I take these meds and in the meantime go to a lactation consultant to help me get Addey to latch better. What a blessing those ladies are! A few days after the last med I notice a tiny lump in my left breast. I call the lactation consultant who tells me it must be a clogged duct and gives me instructions on what to do for it. I do those things for a few days and the lump gets a little bigger. Well, Addey had to have an ultrasound on her hip so I decided to stop by Banner Deserts' lactation center and have one of the girls take a look at it. Yep, looks like a clogged duct and gives me more ways to loosen it up.

I do this for a few days and realize that it's just getting bigger. How in the world after all these things that I'm doing (btw try doing all these things while keeping your baby happy). For instance hot compressions 10 min before feeding, feed, then immediately after pump that breast. Yeah right, huh!?! I end up calling PPA back and telling them that I need to come back in. I go in and they tell me that since I'm already 6 weeks post pardom that I'm no longer with them (they only deal with pregnancies and then your post pardom checkup). Well, I don't have a regular obgyn because I pretty much severed ties with that lunatic. I am pretty much crying to my friends mom Dalia (sp?) and telling her that I am in so much pain, my baby is upset and fussy because of it all, and I just need someone to look at it. Afterall, they were the ones dealing with the infections from the get go and giving me all these meds, shouldn't then follow-up? Dalia calls my insurance and of course they comply because my insurance rocks. The doctor (who's husband is a surgeon) takes one look at my breast and says I'm 99% sure it's an abscess and the worst one I've seen yet in my career. You need to go straight to the ER. Okay, let's back up. Josh is on his way to work, my mom is in the lobby with my baby, ER????....what?!? I ask her if it can wait because by this point I'm a little overwhelmed and she says her husband could operate in the morning but she didn't want me to wait that long because it was really bad.

The doctor as I'm drying my tears, goes out and tells my mom the diagnosis. We would out a plan of how we would drive our cars to the hospital and have Josh meet us there. The doctor said there was no way she wanted Addelynn in the ER. I told mom I would call her and Dad that night after they drain or do surgery or whatever. Well, eight hours later I finally see a doctor (did I mention I hate ERs???) and haven't eaten since the morning because everyone kept saying they didn't know when surgery would be and I couldn't eat until they did. I'm crying to a nurse because I have to eat or I can lose my milk supply and she so rudely tells me that I probably won't be able to breastfeed again after the abscess to why bother...I wanted to hit her! Come to find out surgery would be 8am the next morning and I could have freaking ate something during my long ER wait! Anyway, they check me in...I call my parents who keep Addey for the night. Josh and his Dad give me a blessing and I hope for the best.

I see the surgeon the next morning and beg her just to jab a needle in my boob and drain the abscess (my friend had that done to hers). She informs me that it is too big of an abscess and it would most likely come back and I would have to be put down for surgery. Great! I love surgery! I start crying again because they are not sure if I will be able to breastfeed or not and my baby is only 7 weeks old. Finally her and Josh convince me regardless that this is the best and only way to ensure that the infection is gone.

I wake up from surgery with a huge open wound, not understanding why they couldn't stitch me up. I guess wounds heal from the inside out as I'm learning. All I can say is that I was not prepared for what I saw when they uncovered the bandages to change the packing. The surgeon said I had a golf ball size abscess. They did a test on the abscess to see what it was infected with and the results would come back two days later. I was prepared to go home that day when a nurse came in and told me that the wound came back positive for MRSA which is a drug resistance bacteria, a form of staph. All I remember is hearing on the news how schools were quarantined and closed for cleaning for this bacteria. I start crying again as I thought of my baby. Does she have it....is it in the breast milk? Hours later the nurse comes back and clarifies more. She said that it was only in the wound and not my blood. They still quarantined my room and put me on heavy IV meds. Looks like I would be staying a few more days.

Turns out that when I was breastfeeding Addelynn in the hospital when she was born, she cracked my nipple and I caught staph. I never had mastitis, or a fungal infection. I had a staph infection for 7 weeks until it got so bad I developed an abscess that had to be surgically removed. The doctor informed me that with my symptoms any doctor would have thought mastitis, but after the first couple meds I should have gotten an ultrasound for further detection. The MRSA came from all the meds killing the good bacteria and turning into the drug resistant MRSA bacteria. Let me tell you...boy has it been an ordeal!

It's been 3 weeks or so and I'm still healing. Josh packs my wound everyday and the surgeon says about two more weeks or so of packing and I should be good. I have to pump and dump because of the heavy meds and switched to formula. I can just now start introducing my breast milk back to Addey. I can't feed her from the left side until the wound is no longer open. I have just now been able to look at my wound. Josh says it looks ten times better than it first did which makes me happy.

I am so grateful that I stuck to my instincts and kept going to the doctor because I could have lost alot of breast tissue from the infection. Through these trails my faith continues to strengthen as I realize I have a loving Heavenly Father looking over me. I never imagined spending a day away from my baby and I ended up spending 5 nights away from her. It has been very humbling and I'm still learning that I don't have control over alot of things. Sometimes the world happens and we have to roll with it. I can only pray that I heal to my liking and that my baby stays healthy and happy through this all.

This is not normal I've been told...go figure! I did want to post it though in case sometime down the road someone has the same symptoms. I am healing though and am feeling better every day. I am just looking forward to feeling myself because Addelynn is now 10 weeks old and since she's been born I've been on some sort of medication for the bacteria or pain. I took my last pill Saturday and hope that it's smooth sailing from this point on. Knock on wood!

Holiday Boutique

Hey Everyone,
I'm going to be a part of a Holiday Boutique this Saturday, selling my Scentsy. Scentsy has come out with amazing new warmers, even ones that plug in like night lights! I am attaching the information below and who you need to RSVP to in order to earn raffle tickets for prizes. I am also attaching my website for Scentsy so you can check out the catalog and all the great deals!

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 1
Open House 11:00am-3:00pm
3036 E. Cornell Court
Gilbert, AZ 85234

Earn tickets to win fabulous prizes.
• RSVP and earn 5 Tickets
• Show Up and earn 1 Ticket
• Bring a Friend and earn 1 Ticket
• Place an Order and earn 2 Tickets
• Book a show and earn 3 Tickets

Vendors that will be present: Scentsy, Cookie Lee, Nail Art Kits, Tastefully Simple, Pampered Chef, Mary Kay, and various homemade items!

RSVP to Stephanie at Steph747fa@yahoo.com

Scentsy Website: www.scentsy.com/scentsyshurtz

Life Changing

I was watching Oprah today and they showed a video that really hit home to me. It was about this sweet, angel little boy who had Trisomy 18. The video reminded me of how tender God's mercy truly is and how precious life is. We must live for today because of the uncertainty for tomorrow.

Lately my heart has been pondering the circumstances of life. Heavenly Father gives us more than we could ever repay Him for, yet He takes away as well, sometimes not to our liking or understanding, but with a loving purpose. It is through faith and long suffering that we come to understand this life and the trials that come with it.

Through my four miscarriages and the grieving process that comes with it, I have met dear friends who also carry their own burdens:

My sweet friend who lost her precious little boy to Trisomy 13. He lived for just three days, yet in those three days showed his mommy and daddy more love and determination to live than they could have hoped or wished for. Heavenly Father entrusted her tender spirit to carry this precious boy and lead him back home.

My friend who miscarried three babies and nurtured my spirit through her kindness and sweet rememberances in the months following my miscarriages. She brought flowers, made me a CD, a sweet poem, and just an ear for listening.

My friend who just had her 2nd miscarriage and walks with such strength and pose, who threw me a baby shower through her sorrow and struggling.

My junior high friend who had multiple miscarriages and decided to start her own photography studio that focuses on the beauty of infancy and childhood. She is now pregnant with a little girl and I couldn't be happier for her!

Most recently, my sweet friend who just experienced the stillbirth of her baby boy. We were pregnant at the same time and eagerly anticipating the births of our babies just a few weeks apart. She lost her baby only a few weeks prior to Addey's birth. My heart broke for her and I remember crying myself to sleep some nights over her sorrow. Her sweet baby so active in the womb twisted his cord 18 times, until the last twist cut off all life to his precious little body. Through her sorrow, she has shown me strength and a purer understanding of Heavenly Father's plan. She came to see me and Addelynn the other day, and I know all too much how painful that probably was for her, yet she told me that she knew the road I went through to get my little girl and she wanted to support me and meet her. What an amazing woman with such a tender heart in her suffering!

Sometimes I like to think the Heavenly Father doesn't just decide to take away our sweet, sweet babies, rather he allows incidences in this corrupt world to happen so that we may grow, that we may teach and help others, and that we may ultimately grow closer to him. I don't know what I would have done through my darkest hours if I didn't have a loving Heavenly Father to commune with, to cry to, to know that He was probably the only one in my universe that could possibly know what I was going through...He afterall sent his only Son to die for us...we who are all too many times selfish and undeserving...we who complain that we don't have enough and want more...we who still have so much to learn in this short time on Earth.

I am so thankful for my sweet friends who give me strength and hope...who continually show me the precious love of motherhood. I wish the world for them and I hope they know that.

Please watch the video...It will speak to your soul and hopefully allow us all to reprioritize how we spend our days and how we go about thinking about the tasks we do throughout the day.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th6Njr-qkq0

Newborn Photo Session

My dear friend, Celeste (Bentley) Smith, just finished editing the photos that she took of Addelynn a few weeks ago. We did these photos at two weeks and Addey was such a champ. She stayed asleep through all of the moving and manipulating of her body! She did, however, poo poo on Daddy while he was holding her little nakey body.

I am so thankful to have this sweet little girl in my life. These beautiful pictures will allow me to treasure her infancy which seems to already be going by way too quickly. Pictures allow a person to go back into a time and place where the heart remembers all.

If you would like to see more of Celeste's work you can access her blog at:

http://www.celesteruthphotography.blogspot.com/ and from there you can access her website which is almost in the final stages of being finished.

Thanks again Celeste for doing such an amazing job!

We are Alive

Well, I promise that we are alive...just enjoying parenthood and getting into the swing of routines and such.

Josh and I welcomed our beautiful baby girl Addelynn Reese Shurtz into this world on Monday, September 22nd at 8:17pm. She weighed 7lbs and 2 oz and was a whopping 20 inches long!

Josh completed his two week defensive tactics training on Friday the 19th and then we had the go ahead to be in labor (he told me that I had to get him through this training before Addey came!). We started going on nightly walks and on Sunday night around 11pm I started noticing steady contractions. I didn't start timing them until around 11:30 and realized they were 3-5 minutes apart. I let this go on for an hour like they tell you to and then woke Josh up and told him that I should probably call my doctor and get their opinion on what to do. Josh in a daze from already being asleep for several hours just said "okay, babe let me know what they say," and rolled over and went back to sleep. Love ya babe! The nurse on call said we definitely needed to head in.

I was hesitant because the contractions were just like heavy menstrual cramps and I had a Dr's appt. that afternoon. Well, since my bags were packed we got the dogs situated and then headed out the door. We arrived at Banner Gateway a little after 1am. To my excitement Triage was empty which meant that we would be seen right away. Like always, I had to pee before they checked me so I quickly went to the bathroom (where they told me to go ahead and leave a sample of urine) and then headed back to my room. I was 3cm and 80% effaced and the nurse told me she would talk with the Dr. on call and get back to me as to what would be our plan of action. She came back a few minutes later and told me that they had found some protein in my urine so wanted to do a quick blood draw to make sure everything was looking good.

Fifteen minutes or so passed and she came back and said that she had talked with the Dr. and normally they would have me walk for an hour to see if I progressed and then decide whether to admit me, but my bloodwork showed that I developed preeclampsia (high blood pressure that can cause strokes). She then said that because of the preeclampsia that she would have to admit me and that we would definitely be having a baby that day.

At around 3am they started pitocen to induce labor and it took me until about 8am to reach 4cm. They then pushed me to 5cm to get things rolling. I originally did not want an epidural because I wanted and had in my head all these wonderful thoughts about natural labor, but due to the preeclampsia I was bedridden. There would be no hot showers, labor balls, walking through the pain, or even sitting up and laying back down. About 30 minutes into active labor I was begging for an epidural!

The nurses originally guesstimated that I would deliver around noon. It took me until around 5pm to reach 10cm and become fully effaced. The doctor said I was at a station 3, that they could see Addelynn's head and that it would be about 15 to 20 more minutes. Well, needless to say two and a half hours later I was still pushing, when the doctor finally came back in and evaluated me and informed me that my hips did not separate enough during labor to have a natural birth. So for two and a half hours Addelynn would slide down the birth canal when I pushed and right back up because she was not big enough to pass a certain section of my pelvic region. By this time, I had been in every labor position imaginable, was needing oxygen, hadn't slept in over 36 hours...and was an emotional wreck! A part of me felt like a failure because I am a goal oriented person...the nurse would tell me 15 more minutes and I would persevere...to in the end still end up with a c-section.

Addelynn was born at 8:17pm after a longer than normal c-section because she was so lodged in the birth canal. To top it off an epidural does not completely block out the nerves like a spinal would and since I already had an epidural, a spinal was not an option. I could feel every rip and tear as they took my little angel out of me. I can't really explain the feeling of ripping flesh other than it makes you want to be sick ten times over. I felt like it took hours to get her out and the doctors kept commenting on how lodged in there she was. It was quite the experience...but in the end I was able to hold my beautiful baby girl and exhausted and defeated or not, I was the happiest person in that moment in time.

I had to stay in the hospital for 5 days. Addelynn ended up dropping down to 6lbs and 7oz and developed jaundice that had to be treated under a light for 24 hours. They were also still monitoring my outrageously high blood pressure, which finally decided to go down that Saturday afternoon. As of last Monday Addey weighed 7lbs 10oz and looks wonderful. I can't believe that she will be three weeks old tomorrow. I literally cried when she was 3 days old because I felt like she was growing up too fast already and I needed to savor every moment (I know, post-pardom hormones!). She is such a blessing in our lives and I am continually thankful for both our trials and our miracle because it has made us cherish and appreciate life in a much fuller way. I never thought after four miscarriages that I would have a little one to rock to sleep, to caress her soft face features, and to sing lullaby's too, but Heavenly Father is truly faithful and knows our hearts, and he does answer prayers!

Baby CPR

One thing that I was a little anxious about was being alone with our baby and not knowing what to do if she choked or lost consiousness, so of course one of the things on my list was to learn CPR and choking techniques for babies. I was so thankful that a friend of ours who is a firefighter was able to come and teach us the class in our home. It is so important to be updated on the new information that comes out on life saving techniques, as they change periodically. Compressions and techniques are much different for a baby or infant than for a grown adult, which makes knowing what to do even more important. I know feel a lot more prepared should an emergency ever come up.

Mom and Dad were able to make it out and update their skills a bit. It had been 14 years since the last time they had taken a CPR class and a lot of things had changed!
Josh doing part of the technique for helping an infant who is choking.
Me doing compressions on an unconsious baby. The new routine is 30 to 2...thirty compressions to every two breaths.
Such a serious Daddy! I think this is the only serious face Josh had during the whole experience!

Our Little Pumpkin is Ripe

Since Addey is due in early October, Josh had the cute idea of painting my belly like a pumpkin. On Friday we got all the supplies for the event and had ourself a belly carving (painting) party. Here are a few pictures of the final product. I don't know about anyone else, but I think we picked the cutest pumkin in the pumpkin patch!

Young Women's Surprise Baby Shower

Young Women's Surprise Baby Shower!!!!!

Normally on Wednesdays you can find me at mutual with the YW leaders and girls. Last Wednesday mutual was cancelled (or so I was told) and this Wednesday it wasn't at the normal Stake Building, Sis. Robinson decided to have it at her house. I asked what we were doing and Sis. Robinson said something about rotating the girls through different stations. That was good enough for me. Well, Wednesday rolled around and I had been kind of grumpy all day because I haven't been able to sleep lately, I'm as big as a full size semi-truck and Josh has been working days all week, so I have barely been able to see him. I was half tempted to go to YW's in basketball shorts and a comfy shirt, but decided I had to look at least halfway presentable. I get in my car, make the short drive to Brenda's house, ring the doorbell and to my astonishment see all of the leaders and my girls sitting in a huge circle and yelling "SURPRISE!" I then immediately felt like the worst person in the world for having a miserable day when they all put so much time and effort into making this night special for me.




Come to find out that they did have mutual last week where they were busy planning my shower and making my homemade quilt which you will see a picture of below. They were also busy writing words of advice on cards for me to scrapbook. The shower was absolutely beautiful. I keep telling Brenda that she needs to go into party planning because she does everything to a "T". She had so many fun games like having the girls guess how many poopies (tootsie rolls were in a diaper), name that flavor of baby food (we had 10 taste trials on a plate), draw Cortney's baby with your eyes closed, "How well do you know Cortney?" with 15 questions about me, Baby Bingo, and we even did the string game to see how enormously large my belly has gotten! The girls won prizes for the games and we all had a fantastic time.



Brenda made the cutest little favors like Baby Ruth's swaddled in blankets and yummy chocolates wrapped up in diapers. She also made cupcakes that looked like baby faces, an amazing Pamper's baby cake, delicious punch, and more yummy food! I don't think I could have wished for a better surprise. I was completely caught off guard and had such a wonderful time! The girls also all worked together to make Addelynn a homemade quilt which I know she will adore throughout her life. I love our Young Women's Family!


Tootsie Roll Poopies! Name that Baby Food Chocolates in Diapers


The awesome table full of yummy food for my belly!









Left Picture: My amazing Quilt the girls made


Right Picture: Brenda measuring my enormous baby bump! Holy cow have I gained some weight!

My Amazing Diaper Cake

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